Growing up as a relatively emotional child, I learned to hide my feelings. When I was 17, I left Hong Kong to study overseas. My parents went to the airport to see me off. My eyes were swelling up with tears as we hugged each other goodbye. But then I heard my mom whisper in my ear: “Don’t cry!” So, I quickly wiped away my tears and gave her a smile instead.
After becoming a Christian in my mid-twenties, I continued to perceive calmness and composure as a sign of maturity. I strived to be emotionally unmoved in front of others. Even in my personal prayer life, I censored my own thoughts and condemned myself for not trusting God enough whenever I felt angry, sad or disappointed.
But as I began to read the Bible and learned about the different prayers recorded, I was surprised to find prayers like this one in Psalm 38 where the writer poured out his heart out to God in such a candid way. The biblical term for this kind of prayer is called a lament which simply means an expression of sorrow, pain or confusion in God’s presence. Lament is not something our world values because it isn’t productive. It doesn’t provide a solution to the problem a person faces.
Now that I am a mother of two young children, I find myself encouraging my children to feel and express their emotions, both the positive and the negative ones. I shared with them that our emotions could be too much for other people at times but they are never too much for God. He doesn’t only accept them. He welcomes them!
Prayer:
Father, help me to dig deeper within my emotions and allow You to redeem any brokenness that I have in my life. I surrender myself to Your care. In Jesus name, amen.
“You know what I long for, Lord; you hear my every sigh. My heart beats wildly, my strength fails, and I am going blind.”
“Do not abandon me, O Lord. Do not stand at a distance, my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord my savior.”
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3 Responses
Pastor Bill referenced Revelation 3:20 yesterday: Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and dine with them, and they with me. (Revelation 3:20 NIV11). Picture an intimate meal. Just you and the Lord conversing. Your life is an open book before him. Just sharing your hearts desire. We have that ability in prayer. Lord you know all things help me to listen and be open to your leading.
This reading is a reminder of my almost inability to shed tears. There are times when hearing a testimony for instance where I am moved in such a way that it makes me want to cry and even start to cry, however the tears never escape my tear duct. It is strange. My eyes suck the tears right up. I spent almost 40 years holding back any tears. I had a similar experience when I was about 5. My grandmother came to visit and when she was getting on the bus I started to cry and was told not to cry. I stopped myself, so that is how I trained myself from there on out. God has softened my heart over the past few years and I just want to be able to cry when those emotions let loose whitin me
Jimmy, I heard the testimony you gave in church one Sunday and it brought tears to my eyes. I also heard Joe‘s testimony earlier this year at CR and it brought tears to my eyes. It brings me tears of joy to see the work that God has done in both of your lives. You both exemplify a true love and gratitude for that life change.