Colossians 3:13 (NET)
“bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if someone happens to have a complaint against anyone else. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also forgive others.”
As we have been discussing the articles of spiritual clothing that we are to “put on” each day, this article called forgiveness seems to come out of nowhere and smack us in the face! I would go so far as to say though that it may not be an article you see as much as an article you smell. I am going to identify this article (forgiveness) as the cologne, or perfume, that we wear in order to smell good around others. I say this because if we carry around unforgiveness in our heart then we are going to reek of bitterness and the stench of hard-heartedness – which everyone can smell! It stinks to have that sort of disposition, so let’s look at what Colossians 3:13 and some other Scriptures say about this. Here we Go!
The measure to which we offer up forgiveness is the measure to which we are forgiven! Think about that for a second. . . . . . . Jesus said that if you don’t forgive others, then you will not be forgiven. That is a scary scenario and we should all be aware of this truth, or principle, in Scripture. The principle is that you reap what you sow, and if you are sowing unforgiveness in your heart towards others then you should expect to reap the harvest of unforgiveness from God.
The level to which we forgive seems to be the level to which we understand the forgiveness that we have received when we are born again. The one who has been born again and is living in God’s kingdom looks for ways to live as He directs us to live. So, when there is bitterness and resentment in our lives towards someone we have not forgiven, we will seek ways in which to offer forgiveness, because we know how much we have been forgiven! It reminds me of the parable where a man was forgiven all of the debt (an insurmountable debt) that he owed his master, but then turned around and sought vengeance upon someone who owed him a miniscule amount in comparison. When the master found out that this guy beat the other guy, he had him thrown into prison. This is what it says in Matt 18:32-35, “Then his lord called the first slave and said to him, ‘Evil slave! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me! Should you not have shown mercy to your fellow slave, just as I showed it to you?’ And in anger his lord turned him over to the prison guards to torture him until he repaid all he owed. So also my heavenly Father will do to you, if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart.” The word “torture” is used to describe that slaves punishment. Be careful that you do not hold on to unforgiveness because your punishment is torture!
The Lord Jesus taught us to pray for forgiveness as we acknowledge to Him that we have forgiven others! The next time that you pray and ask forgiveness for a sin that you committed, ask yourself, ‘Have I forgiven everyone who has offended me, or Is there anyone right now that I am refusing to forgive?’. If you can’t answer to the positive (meaning yes, and no to the latter) on those questions, then ask, ‘Why should I ask for something for myself that I am not willing to grant to others’?
Your worship is hindered by unforgiveness! Jesus said that if your brother has something against you and you try to worship God anyways, it is futile. You need to have your horizontal relationships in order before you can freely worship God. I know what you are thinking, ‘Yeah but there is nothing I can do about the other person not forgiving me!’. I agree with you. This text is stating that if there is something that you have done to offend someone else, then it is up to you to seek out their forgiveness, that is your responsibility. The reason I bring this up is to remind us of the importance of humbling ourselves and seeking out forgiveness when we know we are in the wrong too! We need forgiveness and we need to offer forgiveness to others.
This verse tells us that when we confess our sins to the Lord, He is faithful and righteous, and forgives us our sins and cleanses us from all unrighteousness! That is the complete work of forgiveness that God grants us when we turn to Him for restoration and forgiveness. This is the example of Jesus and how God has forgiven us in Christ. So, when we read in Col 3:13 that we are to forgive as God has forgiven us, this is how complete His forgiveness is: Psalm 103:12, “As far as the eastern horizon is from the west, so he removes the guilt of our rebellious actions from us.” and in Heb 8:12 it says, “For I will forgive their wrongdoing, and I will never again remember their sins.” (CSB). God’s work of forgiveness is complete, so our work of forgiveness needs to be the same.
How often should I offer forgiveness to someone who has offended me? Jesus tells Peter that he needs to forgive an unlimited number of times. When He says, ‘Seventy-seven (some translations say, Seventy times Seven), Jesus is giving a ridiculous amount to emphasize the point that we are to offer forgiveness as many times as needed. God doesn’t have a magic number that we hit that suddenly disqualifies us from being granted forgiveness. His forgiveness is limitless and ours must be too!
I really think it is a disposition of forgiveness, meaning that we automatically grant it without the other person even needing to say anything! See, forgiveness is more for us than the person offending us. When we forgive we are releasing ourselves from the control the other person has over our emotions, and we are seeking to restore them to fellowship with us as soon as possible. So when they come to us seeking forgiveness and apologizing, without an effort it is done because we have already done it in our heart! This is how God has given us the example, so let’s do it as He does it. It is almost like saying, ‘Don’t be easily offended.’ When forgiveness is our disposition then we will not be in a hyper-reactive mode all of the time, instead we will be able to look at people with a more compassionate set of eyes – eager to extend forgiveness and grace.
It cost Jesus His life in order to offer us forgiveness! The price paid for us to receive forgiveness for the sins we have committed was death (blood). To what extent are we willing to go in order to offer that sort of forgiveness towards others? I think when we realize the extent to which Jesus went in order to offer us the opportunity to receive forgiveness, then we will see it a very small thing to extend the same grace towards others who have offended us. I also believe that when we see this reality our worship will be taken to a whole new level! As we have seen in the earlier passage in Matt 5:24, our worship is affected by our relationships here on earth. When we are harboring unforgiveness in our hearts, or we know that we have done something to someone else without seeking restoration from them, we are not able to worship freely (also see 1 Peter 3:7 where a husband’s prayers are hindered if he doesn’t treat his wife right!). The point is this, how much are you willing to pay to offer up forgiveness towards another and create a more unhindered worship experience with God? I hope that your answer is, Any price necessary! That is what Jesus answered too, whatever it takes God, I will do it – even death on the Cross!
Here are a few things to remember about forgiveness:
- Forgiveness releases the control the other person has over you.
- Forgiveness is not trust and is not intended to enable others.
- Forgiveness is not necessarily forgetting, because the pain of that offense will actually help us to protect ourselves by putting up the appropriate boundaries. We do forget though, in a sense, by never bringing up the offense again and choosing not to hold it over people’s heads.
- Forgiveness is a disposition that is contagious. Forgiving people helps others be forgiving people!
- Forgiveness is a blessing that breaks the back of our enemies. It is much easier to speak to people and to offer up kindness to those who don’t owe you anything, and forgiveness removes the debt that is “owed” to you allowing for blessing to flow freely!
I will say just one more thing: If you are struggling to move past a situation where you have offered forgiveness numerous times and yet have unforgiveness towards them (you can tell by the storm that brews in your heart each time you think of them), then my strong recommendation is to start speaking blessings over them whenever they come to mind. Not only speaking blessing, but looking for ways to bless period. When you seek out the blessing of others it softens your heart towards them and creates a compassion that you haven’t felt towards them! This is counterintuitive but it really does work because it is God’s way!
“Blessing moves forgiveness from our head to our Heart.”
Jimmy Evans
So we can see how forgiveness is a pleasing aroma that is attracting to others and to God Himself, who offers it freely to all who call upon Him to forgive them of their sins! There is so much more that I could have said about the importance of being a forgiving person, but I will end it here and trust that what was covered is enough to help you understand its utmost urgency.
May God’s blessings be upon you as you try to operate your life by His design!
