READ: GENESIS 20
CHALLENGE: Genesis 20:1f
- PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE (vv1-2)
Vv1-2 – Now Abraham moved on from there into the region of the Negev and lived between Kadesh and Shur. For a while he stayed in Gerar, 2 and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her.
This lie is awful. She’s my sister meaning, she’s not MY wife. I don’t want to die in this godless place because my wife is so beautiful that they kill me to have her. So, let’s act like we’re not married and if the king sleeps with her, at least I’m not dead.
Abraham put his wife and his marriage in a bad situation, and he should have known from earlier in life that this was an extremely bad idea. He did this same thing in Egypt! And we need to learn from our prior mistakes and we need to learn that we can trust God at all times!
Abimelek then took her as his wife. Why not? If she’s free and single, might as well! Abraham painted himself into a corner and he couldn’t tell the truth now. What’s the exit plan when it comes to this kind of lie? He’s stuck!
Have you ever seen people put their marriage in a bad spot? Or have you done the same thing? It’s possible. When you don’t spend time together. When you don’t prioritize your spouse. When you don’t listen to what they’re saying. When you don’t seriously try to address issues. When you get too close to the opposite sex. It’s dangerous.
One take away is that you shouldn’t be acting single when you’re married!
I’ve run into some individuals on social media and I’m shocked when I find out that they are married. Why? They always portrayed themselves as single. I guess it was good for business or traction or likes. My wife is one of my main subjects for photography. There shouldn’t be any question as to whether or not I’m married.
So, act like you’re married when you’re married. You don’t remove your wedding ring at the bar or on a business trip. I recommend you not go dancing out in clubs or bars without your spouse as that is not putting your marriage in a great place. Why are you out at a bar all “single” like?
We shouldn’t be flirting like we’re single either. Guard your relationships. I say this from time to time, but you shouldn’t be communicating with the opposite sex all the time and building an emotional relationship. I’ve often looked at my relationships with other women like this, they’re on one side of the river and I’m on the other. I’m fairly safe unless I build a bridge by constant contact. Protect it!
When you’re married, act like it. Do things together. Go places together. Serve together. Run up and catch a Lake Erie sunset. Hang out and exercise together. I love it when I get to chance to run with Cassie and Tony sticks right with her. Protect your relationship.
Another take away is this. Abraham is not perfect. I realize that none of us are perfect and I’m not either. We’re all guilty at some point. However, it doesn’t mean you cannot repent and do good with your life. I respect the frailty of humanity and the propensity to make bad decisions at times, it comforts me. But be wise!!
- VALUE YOUR MARRIAGE vv3-5)
Vv3-5 – But God came to Abimelek in a dream one night and said to him, “You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a married woman.” 4 Now Abimelek had not gone near her, so he said, “Lord, will you destroy an innocent nation? 5 Did he not say to me, ‘She is my sister,’ and didn’t she also say, ‘He is my brother’? I have done this with a clear conscience and clean hands.”
Being unfaithful to your spouse is wrong. The 10 Commandments says it’s wrong. God said to Abimelek, you’re as good as dead because the woman you took to be a wife is already married. She belongs to someone else. Obviously, God takes marriage seriously and so should we.
When someone’s married, that means they are off limits. Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
One thing we learn from this verse and this story is that God holds people accountable for the moral decisions they make. He held Abimelek accountable for taking Sarah and opening up this possibility of an adulterous relationship. Even though he had been lied to. Why is God so upset? Marriage is our most sacred human relationship.
Genesis 2:24 – That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Genesis teaches that a man leaves and cleaves. To cleave or to be “united” denotes a strong bond that indicates that we are meant to stay together. When you weld two pieces of steel together, that joint is powerful and it’s not going to come apart.
When Chuck Drenik built a stone retaining wall for our patio he made sure to tie the wall together. As he said, it can’t be two walls – has to be one. We’re not two independent people running parallel to each other, we are tied together. Thus, the dissolution of marriage would be like demolishing that wall and God takes that kind of thing seriously. We didn’t build our marriage to knock it down. We built it so that it will still be here decades if not centuries from now. We want to build a marriage that lasts!
Think of typical wedding vows – it’s for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death due us part.
In Malachi 2:14 – You ask, “Why?” It is because the Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
16 “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty.
God accused the people of being unfaithful to their spouses and God is witness to that. She’s your partner and you made a covenant! Once again, God sees marriage as permanent! And I can’t hurt the one I’m supposed to protect.
Abimelech says that he has a clear conscience! What would it say about him if he had laid his hands on a married woman? He would not be innocent. He’s claiming innocence because he was led to believe she was single. Marriage has tremendous value. I’ve often said that marriage is like a house and you don’t bulldoze the house because the roof is leaking. It’s too valuable. How much value do we place on our marriage? What steps are we willing to take to keep it healthy?
God values your relationship. Why does He care? He is the one who puts us together in the first place! God brought Eve to Adam. Jesus said, “What God has put together, let no one tear asunder”. He has brought us together for His purposes. And that right there is important. Typically we have different strengths and weaknesses so we compliment each other. Differences aren’t bad and it took me a while to figure that out. Our differences are often what makes us a strong team.
One of the biggest places I saw the power of the “us” was in building our patio. She’s more particular but I could see the artistic part of how the stones fit together. I worked really hard on the flow of it and getting broken sandstone to fit. But her precision is what made it looks super sharp and level. I full acknowledge that it would not have looked as good without her. It took the team effort.
God has his reasons for us being together and that’s why divorce is not the best option if it can be avoided. I know it’s a super complicated issue. However, generally speaking, we can work to value our marriage.
Some people treat marriage like it’s a place they’re not going to be at forever. It’s like they’re renters. When you’re renting a property, you don’t typically invest a lot of your energy and creativity and money into that property. You’re not going to be there forever. On the other hand, when you own the property and plan to be there the rest of your life, now, that’s a different story. You maintain it. You fix leaks and repair things and paint things and keep after it. Why? That’s your house. You might do things to improve it. But you always look at it like it’s long term.
Bradly built a deck and for posts he used 8 by 8” locust and then tarred them. He doesn’t want it going anywhere and he makes decisions like that. Is that how we treat marriage? Are we
What about your marriage? Are you making decisions like you might be there a while.
Valuing my relationship means that I’m investing into the relationship and I’m building it to last. Are you building value and permanence into your marriage.
- PUT GOD INTO YOUR MARRIAGE
VV6-7 – Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know you did this with a clear conscience, and so I have kept you from sinning against me. That is why I did not let you touch her. 7 Now return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her, you may be sure that you and all who belong to you will die.”
God is rolling up his sleeves and protecting Abraham. God knew Abimelek’s motives were pure which is a good thing for him because God may have taken Abimelek out otherwise. It’s good to have pure motives. I love that God prevented Abimelek from sinning. They speculate that he may have made Abimelek sick.
If he would have slept with Sarah and damaged her marriage, it would be a sin against God. Did you catch that? Immorality is not just sinning against a person, it’s sinning against God! Wow!!
God is protecting Abraham and sometimes we need God to protect us from bad decisions. We need God to protect the sanctity of our marriages. I appreciate God’s role in safe-guarding us. God has certainly intervened in my family. This was true growing up and I heard from my dad about some of the battles he faced and how he overcame temptation. God protected him. I’m sure that God has clearly knocked us back on the right path from time to time and intervened when we needed Him the most. I love God for that!
God was protecting Abraham’s marriage. Thank God for the spiritual intervention. I wonder if there have been times when God has prevented us from doing dumb things. Don’t discount the power of God. Do you believe that today? That God is for you? He’s for your marriage?
What did God expect Abimelek to do? Return Sarah to Abraham. Do the right thing. He will pray for you and you will live. But if you don’t do it, you’re going to die. God wanted that relationship restored.
I would say there is only one real choice and that’s doing the right thing. Is there anything broken in your relationship? God wants your relationship restored as well but that takes effort on your part. But in this case, Abimelek needed to set it right. Sometimes I need to set things right and then my actions need to back it up.
God wasn’t interested in Abimelek saying the right thing, He was interested in him doing the right thing.
- RIPPLES OF DISHONESTY
Vv8-10 – Early the next morning Abimelek summoned all his officials, and when he told them all that had happened, they were very much afraid. 9 Then Abimelek called Abraham in and said, “What have you done to us? How have I wronged you that you have brought such great guilt upon me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should never be done.” 10 And Abimelek asked Abraham, “What was your reason for doing this?”
I love Abimelek calling Abraham out. Abimelek hits the dishonesty head on. “What have you done to us?”. A pagan king calls out Abraham’s clear wrong. Here’s the issue, none of the women in the kingdom were able to conceive as the consequences of the lie and consequent snagging Sarah, had ripple effects. It was costing them the blessing of God. A lie is not only going to impact you, it’s going to impact others as well.
Despite how Abraham viewed them without knowing them, they seem upright. The officials are startled by what they hear. They were not looking to steal someone else’s wife because it set them up to fail. Abimelek said that his unwitting actions brought great guilt on him and his kingdom. They were feeling the punishment.
Not only have you impacted me but you have impacted my kingdom. And they realize that as a result they were in essence going the wrong way on a four lane highway because Abraham did not tell the truth.
Listen to the question. What have you done to us? How have I wronged you that you have brought such great guilt upon me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should never be done”. This so profoundly impacts me. You’ve done things to me that should never be done!
Oh come on Abimelek – it’s just a little lie? Look at the view of the lie. You’ve done something to me. You’ve harmed me by what? With a lie. You harmed me with what is not true!
The lie covered a sin in this case because Sarah was taken from where she belonged. And one of the things that I hate about lies is that you make decisions based on what you are told. If reality is misrepresented and I make a decision based on that, that could really hurt.
And it all started with a lack of truthfulness. Abraham could play the technical brother card but he was a husband and hid that fact to preserve himself. He was not transparent. And the things that he was hiding hurt the greater whole.
It really makes me wonder, what wrongs are done because of lies? You might tell blatant lies about people that unfairly damage their reputation. I’ve heard people make false accusations with no basis in reality at all. That damages relationships quite a bit.
You might conceal information so a person won’t find out what the truth is. Or you throw someone’s name in the mix to give credibility but they really have nothing to do with it. And then decisions are made based on that.
Here’s the best policy and the one take away. Just tell the truth. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Jesus said it clearly the devil is the Father of Lies.
Is there anything that we’re hiding? Is there anything that we’re not being truthful about.
Vv11-18 – Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ 12 Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. 13 And when God had me wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’” 14 Then Abimelek brought sheep and cattle and male and female slaves and gave them to Abraham, and he returned Sarah his wife to him. 15 And Abimelek said, “My land is before you; live wherever you like.” 16 To Sarah he said, “I am giving your brother a thousand shekels[a] of silver. This is to cover the offense against you before all who are with you; you are completely vindicated.” 17 Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelek, his wife and his female slaves so they could have children again, 18 for the Lord had kept all the women in Abimelek’s household from conceiving because of Abraham’s wife Sarah.
Lack of faith. Abraham acts out of uneccessary fear. The first lie was his own thoughts. They’ll kill me – he was running from a monster that didn’t even exist. Sometimes we dream up negative outcomes as well.
Then he justifies his bad behavior by saying that it was half true! But it was clear deception. I love with Abimelek says, “I’m giving your brother 1000 shekels of silver. This covers the offense against you. At least Abimelek admits that it was a mistake but reminds everyone that he lied
Abraham prayed for Abimelek, the man that he damaged. It had to be somewhat humiliating to have to pray for people to be healed from the damage of your lie. Just tell the truth and your life will be much simpler.
And in your relationships, no deceptions. When you’re married, act like you’re married. Value your marriage. Include God.