Sympathizing with Sadness

READ: JOB 2:11

CHALLENGE: Appropriately Support the Hurting

Let’s recall that Job is called the greatest man of the east.  Let’s think about the Super Bowl and the Philadelphia Eagles epic dismantling of the Kansas City Chiefs.  There were a lot of famous people there.  Taylor Swift. President Trump.  Bradly Cooper.  There were billionaires and celebrities in attendance.  Job could have fit into that group of people.  He was the greatest man in the east.  Well known and powerful.  Yet, here he sits alone.  And sometimes you are alone in this world and at this moment he sits away from everyone else. 

Let’s look at our role when someone is hurting.

1. BE A FRIEND

V11 – When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 

What is a friend?  By definition, it’s someone you associate with or your companion.  In that day they could take a covenant promising to be there for each other out of love.  I’ve got your back and won’t let you down! 

In our day, a friend could be someone we do business with or go to church with or serve with in some compacity.  Or it could be a go to person with whom we have a lot in common.  We might talk often and hang out together.  These men are close enough to Job that they gather around him to support him.  They know him well.  They for sure know what he’s supposed to look like and it’s heart breaking for them to see him now. 

They do what friends do, they hear you’re in a predicament and they spring into action to give you a hand.  Are they asked to come along and help?  They don’t need to be and that’s a sign of friendship as well.  A true friend will be there for you even if you didn’t ask them to be.  We have a lot of “friendlies” but only so many true friends. 

• They Heard About the Troubles

What did they hear?  They heard about the troubles that had come upon him.  It was a nightmarish calamity; the sum of all fears. 

These problems had come upon Job.  I notice that they came from the outside as opposed to being something he brought on himself.  Some of our problems are created by us.  Are the Browns cursed from a source outside of themselves or did the team create their own factory of sadness via the decisions they’ve made?  It’s self-inflicted and that’s a different kind of pain.

Let’s say that we eat cotton candy every day and our teeth rot.  It didn’t come upon us, we brought it on ourselves.  Some go through divorces because they ignored their relationship for years and lived selfishly and now they are paying the price!  As kids, we would bring stings from bees on ourselves because we kept tormenting the hornet’s nest. 

Some have financial concerns because they did not plan ahead.  You wish you could turn back the clock and undo what had been done but you cannot.  Go to the ant … sluggard.  Consider her ways.  They are always preparing for the future and they are industrious.  We don’t want to bring trouble on ourselves because we’re slacking. 

Other situations come upon you.  You didn’t ask for it.  It crashed into your life like an asteroid falling on a house or lightning striking out of a clear blue sky.  Job’s problems came upon him out of the blue.  It is akin to a bad health diagnosis or a tragedy or you company moved so you lost your job.  We’ve all been confronted with problems that we didn’t ask for. 

I’ve had issues in life where you would hear about it in other places never thinking you’d ever experience it yourself until you did.  God brought us through it, thankfully.  The troubles came from outside of himself.

• They Respond to Job’s Troubles

And when they heard about it, they left their homes and went together to sit with him.  They did not hear of it and ignore the plight of their friend.  They left their homes and headed his way.  They met together like the three wisemen on a journey. 

It’s nice to see some action on their part which is biblically important.  For instance, we’re not to be wishing the naked and hungry to be warm and well fed without doing anything about it.  James 2:15-16 –  Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶ If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 

The book of John says that if it’s within your power to help someone, then by all means, help them.  Mere rhetoric or well wishes don’t cut it.  What are you doing to actually make a difference?  Talk is cheap and words come easy as ice in winter. 

These men responded to the plight and went to see their friend who was hurting.

B. GIVE COMFORT

to go and sympathize with him and comfort him

Their stated purpose was to comfort him.  They widely missed the mark as the book unfolds, but they had the right heart or attitude in the beginning.  Huddle up guys, our mission is to help bear the misery of the situation. 

1. Sympathize

The word to “sympathize” denotes going back and forth.  It is applied to a physical movement or an attitude.  This to and fro movement is also typical of the nodding of one’s head “as a sign of pity that sympathizes with one and recognizes the magnitude of evil. Individuals in deep trouble are objects of sympathy.

They were there to “feel” his pain with him; to walk a mile in his shoes, to sorrow with him.  Sympathy acknowledges how difficult it is to experience what our friend has been through.  We are told in the Bible to weep with those who weep and to rejoice with those who rejoice.  There has to be a joint empathy through the pains in life. 

I would think that a nodding of the head would at least indicate that you understand what they’re going through.  You’re acknowledging the pain that they are in rather than dismissing it.  They don’t try to wisk it away with a fave bible reference either.  They are weeping with Job. 

Sympathy is that ability to be moved by the plight of someone else.  Jesus Christ had compassion on the hungry.  He took the five loaves and two fish and fed the five thousand people with it.  That started with feeling for the people.

He would encounter blind people and his heart was moved with compassion.  It will be difficult to provide comfort without your heart being touched.  You truly need to care about the people. 

Compassion has never been my strong suit and anyone in my family would laugh at any notion that I was full of compassion.  However, I do feel for people in their sorrows and for those who have suffered tragedies.  Perhaps for all of us there are different things that move your heart.  For you, it might only be a lost kitten that would move you.  Others are moved to pity because someone else is going through something that you’ve been through as well.  You can really sympathize. 

You need to have some sympathy.  To understand what it’s like.     

• Comfort

“be sorry, repent, regret, be comforted, comfort”.The origin of the root seems to reflect the idea of “breathing deeply”, hence the physical display of one’s feelings, usually sorrow, compassion, or comfort”.  It certainly means comfort here. 

In a passage where God comforts his people, we read this.  “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young”. (Isaiah 40:11) 

There is a gentleness that is part of comfort.  You don’t bark at them, you soothe them.  You’re helping to salve their soul.  Have you ever been sunburnt?  The worse sunburn I ever received was down in Tennessee sitting by a pool.  It was May, I underestimated the power of the sun.  After getting scorched, I could hardly put a shirt on, it was that bad.  I was fried.  I put on that cool aloe sunburn gel and that helped to bring some relief.  The comforting power numbed the pain. 

Emotional pain is the worst.  It’s tough to know what to do with it all.  It’s overwhelming at times.  You’re just hurting so someone coming along side of you to speak gentle words or just silently stand next to you is a beautiful thing. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ^– Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. ⁵ For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

Paul said his distress worked toward the comfort of others.  We can give words of comfort.  Jesus invited the weary to come to him and find rest.  Jesus said that in this world we would have trouble but we should not fear because he has overcome the world.  I point this out merely to say, that he gave us comfort.  I would use them personally in your life and think through some of the beautiful passages.

Lamentations 3:22-23 – Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. ²³ They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

There have been times when I have been upset and I needed words of comfort and reassurance.  As a child, they reassured me that monsters were not real.  Then there were times when I worried that I might not have salvation and they would speak words of comfort to me and explain Scripture. 

There have been plenty of times when I’d have to dispense words of comfort.  It’s going to be OK.  We’re going to make it.  We have a hope in heaven.  Many times I’ve been called on to say something that would help to ease the burden that people were experiencing at that time. 

One time I was upset and had a bit of a mess up at work and another fellow worker came the next day and told me a story of when he messed up.  It helped me to know that I wasn’t alone and I didn’t have to be perfect.  We’ve all made mistakes. 

Words have meant a lot to me over the years.  We could all use a kind word.  So bear the burdens of others and help them carry the load.  Whether a hug or a card or a call or a visit.  It’s helpful. 

• COMMISERATE (vv12-13)

Vv12-13 – When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. ¹³ Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

It was worse than they thought.  It’s like seeing a loved one all hooked up to machines in the hospital.  That’s a very difficult moment.  Obviously seeing Job was a stunning sight for those who had known him previously. 

They got their own grief out of the way and then went to him.  Is there something to be said for not grieving in front of the person?  It seems that they are at a distance and then they go to him and it’s quiet.  There’s not a right or wrong way I suppose.  I do not prefer to grieve in front of the family.  I have to put myself a side and be strong for them. 

The friends of Job were grieved at seeing him.  They cried for their friend.  They wept over his physical condition.  They went through the same process their friend had except they didn’t cut their hair.  They just put dust in it. 

Now, we Americans like to look nice a calling hours and funerals.  Can you imagine going to the hospital and right before you go in, you put ashes from the fireplace or woodstove on your head?  Do you go into the hospital with a dusty face and tears running like a river through the ash on your cheeks.  Is our hair a wreck?  No way!  We dress up to go to calling hours or a funeral.  We often look our best.  What if we just came into the funeral home looking like a disaster?  Their culture was so much different but it’s not wrong.  There’s something to be said for not have to look nice when you’re grieving. 

At least when they showed up with torn clothes and in ashes they were doing something very important.  They were feeling his pain.  I know for myself that when I’m in a struggle, it’s good that others can understand that struggle.  They know what you’re going through. 

What did Jesus do?  He went through it with us.  He can sympathize with our weakness because he was here.  He suffered rejection. 

Hebrews 4:15-16  ^– For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Our high priest empathizes with us. 

• Just Be There

They just came and sat with him in the ashes.  This has got to be one of the most beautiful things in the book.  The way that they came along side of him and just bore the pain.  I appreciate people who will sit with you and help you along in a time of trouble.  Perhaps there is some kind of weight transference that’s helpful. 

It fascinates me that they allowed themselves the time to be a friend.  And we live in a society where time is at a minimum and it’s difficult to be able to invest it into important relationships. 

• Just Be Quiet

They said absolutely nothing!  Sometimes this is when you’re at your best.  You don’t say a peep.  You keep quiet about everything. 

When you go to a calling hours let them know that you care about them.  You don’t need to quote Romans 8:28 or anything else. 

They’re quiet for 7 days.  I struggle to be quiet for 7 minutes.  7 hours would be pushing it.  To sit there for 7 days?  That’s SO impressive. 7 days of silence. 

The power of quietly being there.  How can you overstate the importance.  There were people who stood around Jesus through all of the cross torment.

The nice thing is this.  Even in the quiet there is help and you know that.  And sometimes just knowing that someone is there makes all the difference in the world. 

Who would you stand by and just be there?  Relationships are always worth investing intoI fear for all of us that we’re blowing down the road of life and not really making the time for people.  The time for deep connection.  It’s something worth thinking about.

When the time comes, bring good comfort to the hurting, it’s the role of a friend.